Why I Don't Cut People Off Anymore
Cutting someone off implies severing a tie, one that you couldn’t release on your own. Deep down we must be accountable for all our relationships. Sometimes we are the ones holding on to something we know better than to be attached to. For instance, who hasn’t stayed in a relationship for the comfort, for fear we can’t make it alone, for fear no one will ever love you.
If you really believe that, then its your fault you haven’t moved on. Truth is, you have so much life to live and love to give, but do you believe that. Having an optimistic outlook on ourselves and our future allows us to embrace all parts of the journey, not just the happy ones. Releasing attachments takes ownership for your freedom and values, and it allows the counterpart to do the same.
Fear of ending, that constant survival mode of how and who to love, is exhausting. The longer you sit in that space. The longer you hold on to that failure. The longer you believe somehow you could have prevented it. The more time you waste living your life and finding true love.
But, for all intents and purposes, how do you start to release people, instead of the snap judgement cut off??
First, establish your boundaries. Decide what is valuable and beneficial to you. Create your core values, of self-respect, self-discipline, and self-love, these will help you when interacting with others, personal or otherwise. It should be a positive list of what you want for yourself and what you seek in others. Something like “I want to attract authentic people, so I will be authentic at all times.” “I want to be passionately loved, so I will be a passionate lover.” “I do not desire dishonestly, so I will always be truthful, even when it is hard.” “I want unconditional love and support, so I will be unconditionally loving and supportive to myself first.” Tailor it to your needs and desires. Remember you are what you attract.
Next, write it down, repeat it one hundred times, chant it in the mornings, make it the screensaver in your phone. Whatever you need to do to keep this in the forefront of your mind.
This is how you must treat yourself. Reason why? If you meet someone who lives contrary to how you live and love, you’ll quickly notice the difference and protect yourself.
When your energy is aligned and authentic, it’ll ward off the haters before you even know it. Meanwhile, birds of a feather always, flock together. Trust your people are out there
Then, you gotta hold yourself accountable for your interactions. Protect your space and lifestyle. Leeches can’t leech what they can’t see. This also means protecting your energy. Who you give your time too, who you lend emotional support to, who’s dreams are you supporting? Being a blessing to others is a wonderful feeling, but make sure not to be naïve or egotistical.
You can’t save everybody. It is not your responsibility or obligation. Especially, if you haven’t done your inner work beforehand. Sometimes, they can’t be. Better yet they don’t want to be.
When you happen upon a draining relationship, that doesn’t honor your values, what do you do? Release them back to the jungle to mess up somebody else’s life. You reiterate your boundaries, first to yourself. Then to your violator. If they choose not to understand or comply. They’re not your people.
Take accountability for your involvement. Learn that higher message that sharpens your awareness and discipline. And enjoy the fact that there is one less person in your way. Seems like we are all searching for the one. So, rest easy in the fact that the possibilities are still out there, the one still exists. Imagine being stuck with someone who doesn’t value you. Imagine the amount of conflict that internally and externally. Your One and your village is out there. In the meantime, You are more than enough all by yourself.
Cutting anything off requires intimate severing, leaving an open wound. There’s more internal healing needed there. When we reach the point of cutting off, ask yourself “have I felt this way before”? Lots of times we allow current conflicts to trigger unhealed wounds from our childhood and past. Like all your feelings are exposed and rushing to the surface. But by cutting it all off, one huge scab covers layers of hurt and disappointment. Releasing negatively impacting relationships, teaches us how to address things differently. How to communicate, and how to resolve conflict. It is not fool proof, but it does allow you to release those thoughts and feelings. Some relationships are just opportunities to learn from mistakes, understand ourselves better, and to gain experience in how you want to be loved.
Remember always, you are enough. Often more than what you will believe of yourself. It is normal and important to address your inner wounds and release those generational curses. Often we’ve been taught to cut off, much because its all we saw from our families. We also saw the depressing and paralyzing effect it has on happiness and progress. Every chance you get, check within to see current habits and ways to grow from this place. Sis, I beg you to let this go.
Learn to communicate your boundaries up front. Avoid rushing into attachments until you’re sure. And be okay with things not working out. Trust that someday they will. I repeat, your people are out there, right along with your blessings.
Realize that relationships may go south for reasons bigger than one person can be blamed for. Accept that you did your best. Accept that they might have too. You never know what might come back to bless you in the future. How you handle it means everything.
Take the healing route and let go of anything and everything that does not serve your higher purpose. Don’t allow people to hold you back for any reason. Release what you don’t need. Release the inner victim that wants to still hold on. Release the past trauma that these situations remind you of. Release that energy to make space for better. Make space for your best life.